Saturday, November 11, 2006

A splash of psyco-trauma :-#

Janice Held Video Blog
The other night I got three sentences into the story of the second day down the mountain. As I pulled back from my mind the images of the first dawn I began feeling ill, nausea, weak knees, chills, fear and extreme light-headedness. I closed out the word document and headed straight for the refrigerator ‘it must be a sugar drop,” the lightheadedness took me to bed, with the tuna and Triscuit’s, “it must be exhaustion.” It’s only 7 P.M.; I can’t go to bed yet, “I must be sick.” Ask my husband to just touch my shoulder, “I might be really sick!”

Calming down ever so slightly I had one final thought before falling into a deep sleep. “Sh*t, I’m having an anxiety attack!” I felt all of the same feeling that I was feeling that cold morning in Mozul. In bringing back the pictures and words from my mind I also brought back the feelings. That should be of NO surprise - yet it was. Anxiety is always new all over again.

Secondly, I do have Bronchitis and I’m in lock down. And that will give me plenty of time to catch up on my writing – albeit more objectively than last Tuesday night.


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